He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
