U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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