I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
