Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
