Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
