I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize