do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
