i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize