he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
