Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
