You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
