i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
