I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
