nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
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