I met the friendliest cop last night
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
