Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 609 share tweet
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
