I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize