hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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