Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
