Me too!
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
