the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize