Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
