is your mom at the bar?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
