so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize