ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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