I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
