So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
