Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
