butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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