Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
