The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
