You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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