I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
