You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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