he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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