Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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