you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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