like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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