Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
