i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
