I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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