Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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