I feel like I'm in dance class right now
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
