Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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