i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
