She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
