remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
We left the knife in your bed.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
