Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize