Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I queefed so loud it echoed.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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