We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
