They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize