Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
what day is it and did you see me today?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
