Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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