I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
