Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
