i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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