i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
