Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Dear god my vagina.
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